Queeg Bush (c) 2002 by NNN
(He knows Saadam stole the quart of strawberries, by damn!)
by H. Millard (c) 2002

Crazy, mad, going to hell in a handbasket post-American America is being invaded by lousy invaders from Mexico and the rest of the Third World who are deconstructing America and turning our land into a Third World sewer while pretending all they want to do is mow our lawns, get free (to them) medical and dental care and other freebies and be good non-citizens. So what does President George Bush, who is supposed to be protecting America from foreign invaders, do? He wastes all his time worrying about irrelevant Iraq. Why? It makes no sense. Unless...my eyes narrow to suspicious slits...dare we think it? Perhaps, Mr. Bush is a bit out of his saddle. No, not riding side saddle, that's a different sort of odd, but just kind of not sitting there like an upright, white hat wearing, singing cowboy. It's almost as though he's slouching to one side while wearing a sombrero and drinking too much tequila instead of wearing an all American Stetson and drinking just a little sarsaparilla.

Bush's obsession with Iraq seems nutty. It's loopy. It's crazy. It's insane. With real enemies crossing our borders each day, why in the hell is Bush conjuring up imaginary enemies far away and allowing our ship of state to sail in meaningless circles?

Meaningless circles? Hmmm. Maybe it's just my TV, but I swear Bush is looking more and more like Humphrey Bogart as Captain Queeg in the Caine Mutiny. I'm half expecting to see a press conference with Bush mindlessly rolling a pair of steel ball-bearings in one trembling hand as he rambles on about how Saadam Hussein has stolen Bush's quart of strawberries and is hiding them someplace. Bush seems so obsessed with Saadam that I wouldn't even be surprised if he ordered the strip search of every Iraqi to find the secret key that will lead to the proof that Saadam--that evil fiend--has those strawberries hidden away in one of his palaces!

Will we have to wait until after we go to war against a backward pile of sand--that Bush is pretending is a threat to the world--for the expose insider books to come out? Will we have to wait a couple of years to read the memoirs of some bloodless sycophantic staffer who was near Bush, in the here and now, who claims he had secretly believed Bush was looney tunes? And, will we have to put up with the usual after the fact whiny mea culpas from some staffer seeking absolution for remaining silent? If any staffers are reading this, and if they have such thoughts, please speak up now, and don't wait until after Bush is in the rubber room to tell the American people the truth. Tell us all now. Is Bush running nude up and down the streets of Washington, D.C. screaming "I'm gonna git ya Saadam," I'm gonna git ya! And, when I do, I'm a gonna hog tie ya and ride ya until you show me them strawberries"?

Saddam dartboardWill we read, in some future book "Bush was obsessed with Saadam, like a stalker might be obsessed with a movie star"? Will some anonymous former staffer tell the newspapers "He had photos of Saadam in the bottoms of all the urinals in the White House, and he'd start most conversations with 'Damn Saadam.' It was weird. I'd pass him in a White House hall, and when I'd say good morning, Mr. President, Bush would scowl and say 'Damn Saadam, good morning.'"

Will we tune into some TV talk show and see various pop psychologists doing post-mortems of the Bush war and claiming that they knew all along that Bush's neurosis was an attempt to get love and respect from his father. Will they claim that because George had been sent to a boarding school in New England, far from Texas where his father and mother were living, that young George Freudfelt a deep sense of rejection that he internalized? Will we hear some pompous ass, maybe speaking in a Dr. Strangelove accent, saying that Bush just never felt he could live up to what his father wanted, and this caused him to hate his father and that these feelings of hatred were transferred to Saadam Hussein. Then, the tension in the subconscious mind of Bush the younger could only be relieved by psychologically whacking a socially acceptable father figure--Saadam?

Then again, after all is said and done, there is the possibility that Bush is crazy like a fox and is just using the crazy war talk to make Saadam think that Bush is unstable enough to pop Saadam for even glancing the wrong way. If you were Saadam, who would you fear most? A crazy loon or someone who is sane? Maybe world peace will be found by acting crazy. Those who are trying to act sane haven't done so well.

Vicente FoxSo, maybe Bush's approach to Saadam doesn't indicate any deep psychological issues at all. That's the way most decent citizens would like to have it with their President. However...crazy like a fox? Fox? Vicente Fox? My eyes narrow to suspicious slits once again. The real problem for America is Mexico and other Third World nations. Now, how can we get Mr. Bush to understand this? How can we get him to see that what he's not doing to protect our borders right here in the U.S.from a massive Third World invasion is really koo koo? Why is Bush so obsessed with a nation that isn't doing anything to American citizens while he's so oblivious to the real harm being caused by Mexico?

Maybe Bush is the sane one, and the millions of American citizens who are trying to stop this slow Frieda Kahlo invasion of our nation are the ones who are nuts. Maybe we should just roll over and play dead as Norman Rockwell Americana is replaced with Frieda Kahlo Mexicana. Maybe we should forget the 4th of July and replace it with Cinco de Mayo. And, maybe we should all learn to sing they're coming to take me away, they're coming to take me away...in the new Lingua Franca of Mr. Bush's post-American America...Spanish.

Meanwhile, down in Texas and Arizona where the sun beats down mercilessly on dry as a bone land, and where the flies and gnats swarm like small clouds to steal the life from other living things,some open Mexican borderAmericans are trying to make a living operating ranches. It's not an easy life in the best of circumstances, and it's a lot less easy when the ranches are being over run by illegal aliens who also swarm like small clouds to steal the life out of this nation. The border is so open that it seems there are more illegal aliens running around the scrub brush than cattle.

Apparently, these illegal alien criminals aren't a problem over on Mr. Bush's spread though. Probably something to do with all those Secret Service people protecting his personal borders and his land. But even if hundreds of illegals did tamp all over Mr.Bush's place, it probably wouldn't bother him much. That's because his dude ranch isn't really like the working ranches, and the land and the cattle don't put food on Mr. Bush's table like they do at the real ranches.

To the elites of America who play cowboys on the weekends, illegal aliens are maids and gardeners. To the millions of middle class Americans, though, they are job stealers and street thugs.

Bush cowboyCowboys? Maybe Mr. Bush isn't so much a genuine American cowboy as he is a Mexican drug store vaquero. And, maybe that's why he won't stop the invasion. To him, it isn't an invasion. He figures he's one of them.

#  #  #



Recommend this page to a friend


(Available at finer bookstores, by phone, or on the net)
The links appear to work on some software and not on others. If they don’t work, you can order via phone.

Roaming the Wastelands 1. ROAMING THE WASTELANDS
(ISBN: 0-595-22811-9)

NEW! JUST RELEASED! H. Millard’s latest sacred cow toppling book,
is now available at Amazon.com by clicking on the following link
or by calling 1-877-823-9235.

“A fun–and sobering–thing to read” Alamance Independent

The Outsider

(ISBN: 0-595-19424-9)
H. Millard’s underground classic story of alienation
is available at Amazon.com by clicking on the following link
or by calling 1-877-823-9235:

"Millard is an important writer" - New Nation News
"Millard is an original. His books aren't like your typical fiction. If you don't know where to put his books, try the same shelf with Kerouac, Kafka, Sartre and Nietzsche" - a reader.