H. Millard

A WHITE SEARCH FOR IDENTITY AND MEANING by H. Millard © 2015



SUMMARY: I found my identity, my purpose and the meaning of it all in a belief in nature, evolution, the DNA code and in Whiteness.

I was going to call this Regaining Our Identity, but I'm not sure we Whites as Whites have ever collectively really had a proper identity to regain as the distinct people--White people--that we are. Instead, we've traditionally used narrower national identities for ourselves--Irish, English, German, etc.--but we must now, when our national lands are being invaded by non-Whites and they are also now being called Irish, English, German, etc,  focus our  identity on what makes us, us no matter where we were born or where we live. 

This essential  identity is of course is our common White DNA code.  We are THE WHITE PEOPLE on this dark planet. We are different than all other peoples. We are not superior across the board, but we are different.  Whites are Whites. This is who we are. And, if you ask me, I'll tell you that we are more than a race.  We are a separate species of human (even though we can, unfortunately, still bear children with non-Whites)-- so I've changed the title to what you see above.  Before proceeding, it makes sense to correctly understand that when I use "White people," with an upper case "W" I mean "non-Jewish White people of European descent."   The term Aryan, although not widely used these days, is synonymous with "White people" the way I use the Whites and White people.

We Whites have had national identities, and religious identities, and political identities.  And, we've even taken on various frivolous identities as fans of sports teams and other relatively meaningless things  These are all secondary identities, because we are not born with them and we can change them. When we've taken on some of these secondary identities, we've forgotten who and what we are and we then often wrongly welcome as brothers and sisters those who are not White simply because they live in the same country or have the same religion or  share some of our interests or politics or even because  they may like the same sports teams or have the same views on some things as us as individuals.  Substituting these secondary identities is absurd and harmful to us as Whites and to our continued existence, our expansion, and our evolution along a White path.

As I've written elsewhere, I once had a conversation with a White guy who maintained very strongly that he was a White Nationalist but he also said that he was a good Christian.  I then asked him if it should happen that he must choose  between letting a Black Christian or a White non-Christian (an atheist or a follower of an explicitly White religion) live under his roof and marry his White daughter, which of the two would he choose?  He said he'd choose the Black Christian over the White non-Christian.  To me, this was a sure sign that this guy just didn't understand reality and the nature of existence, evolution, genocide, or even White Nationalism.   Clearly, this man was confused and was putting a secondary identity, Christianity, in front of what should have been his primary identity: White.  To me, this is dead wrong. I wanted nothing else to do with this guy.  But why should a religious system be a secondary identity and not a primary identity?  It's because you can change religions like changing a pair of shoes. You can't do that with your DNA and your genes.  You are born with your most essential and primary identity--your essential Whiteness.  Too many Whites either don't seem to know this or try to deny it.  Don't be like one of them.  They are weak seeds and are disgusting.

But, it is true that not many of us have ever had a genuine and conscious identity based on who and what we are as a result of our genetic heritage as White people.  I'm talking about the kind of essential genetic identity that I believe we would see if we took  White babies from  White families from every White nation and put them on a deserted island and let them grow up without any cultural cues.  What would they be like?  My answer is that they would be pretty much as they would be had they grown up in normal circumstances but would be minus some unnecessary cultural/religious baggage that may be harming us "civilized" Whites in our present White hating world that wants Whites to go extinct.

Why the search for identity and  meaning?

I felt empty and without meaning and identity for many years, but, paradoxically, I wasn't aware of it at the time--at least in those terms.  It was like a cosmic loneliness or emptiness  that expressed itself more as a sort of unthinking, unknowing ennui or unmindfullness. I guess I was happy enough each day, but I had no real direction.  It was living more like a lower animal.  I went to work. I ate. I slept. I had a social life, but it was empty. I slept walked through life. I just existed.  I didn't think about the bigger questions of existence and not at all about race.   But, there was something nagging inside me.  At times I'd have a very vague feeling that there must be something more important to do and that there must be some meaningful direction.  Something bigger seemed to be missing. Something that I should strive for.  As the feeling got stronger inside me, I tried to find that something bigger that I felt was missing.  And, I tried to find  meaning and identity in politics and social movements and in various other things, but they always came up short and never completely expressed the way I felt. There was always something missing.

I was raised Roman Catholic, but left that faith very young. However, it left a residual memory that made me look at various religions. I did so, and found them all wanting.  I also looked at various philosophies and also found them wanting. None of these things had it completely right, in my view, but I wasn't sure what "right" in this context even meant. They just didn't feel comfortable or right to me.  Many of them had some things right but they didn't have it all. And, again, I never really thought much about race at all and certainly not about DNA and genes and evolution and why there were even different races and whether or not there was something deeper to human differences.

Then it dawned on me that what I was doing was only seeing the world as it existed in our everyday reality. A tree was just a tree. An automobile was just an automobile. A person was just a person.  I then realized that this was a ham handed way to look at things. In order to find the bigger, I needed to go smaller and deeper.  I needed to see details.  I needed to start with the very small and build up from there. I knew that  to really find identity and meaning I had to understand that everything in existence, except perhaps at the level of vibrations, waves, energies and forces is made up of ever smaller things, and this was so of trees, automobiles and people, including me.  I realized that I was alienated from my most essential identity, the one I was born with

Such thoughts led me to realize that  what most religions and philosophies and world views were missing was this deeper thinking about what makes the world we see around us. I also realized that some religious traditions that did look at what makes up our reality mistakenly concluded that our normal state of reality is an illusion.  I totally rejected that idea. A tree really is a tree. An automobile really is an automobile. A person really is a person.  They are as we see and experience them. They are not illusions.  However, they are made up of smaller things which in turn are made up of waves, frequencies, forces and energies.

I realized to remove my alienation from my most essential self, I must go ever smaller and deeper. I was unknowingly denying who and what I was by birth and substituting secondary identities for my real identity because I wasn't going smaller and deeper. It was  like I was covering the essential me with layers of cheap paint. I  needed to scrape off those layers and layers of paint to get to the real me.  For a time, I called myself a conservative, but that didn't fill me. I also called myself a European-American and used the terms Western Society  and Western Culture to describe what I was part of, but eventually these seemed a little like weasel words to me and it was as though I was trying to hide my true feelings from haters of Whites so I would be acceptable in polite society.  But, as I evolved intellectually, I finally chucked those terms and concepts and came out of the closet as a "White person," with no apologies and no quibbling or euphemisms.  Other awakened Whites may prefer these lesser terms and ways that I no longer prefer for myself, and that's fine, I don't mean to criticize them.  We all must decide for ourselves what feels right for ourselves.  And, I have a personal policy of never publicly criticizing other awake Whites, but It is necessary, here, to briefly touch on these terms and my personal evolution. And, I will say for certain audiences I still do use terms such as conservative and Western Man, etc. so I will be somewhat understood.

I tried to find what my true and most essential self was.  Again, I looked in various places before it became clear that my true and most essential self is my DNA Code, which is a more inclusive term than simply saying my genes, but the latter term is still valid if one does understand that the DNA code in each of us is more than genes.  And, just to be clear "genes" aren't really things at all.  They are simply sections of the DNA code--groups of the four chemicals in certain locations on the DNA spiral that do certain things.

But, what is that DNA code and why is it important?  Well, each of us--the person we see in the mirror--didn't just pop up out of nothing.  In fact, nothing in existence pops up out of nothing.  Everything can be reduced to smaller parts until we end up with  waves, forces and energies.  And, these then cause subatomic particles, atoms, molecules and so forth.  For us, it makes sense to start at the level of DNA because that is where the recipe or the blueprint for each of us comes from.  It is there where the subatomic particles waves, etc. coalesce in a way that provides the blueprint to make us.  This blueprint for us, this DNA code, is made up of around 3 billion combinations of the four chemicals that comprise DNA and which are abbreviated at A, T, C, G. The way these letters are shuffled makes us who and what we are. These letters are contained in the 46 chromosomes that we humans carry.  We got 23 of these chromosomes  from out mother and 23 from our father.  And, on these 46 chromosomes are around 20,000 sections that we call genes.  If we are born of a White mother and a White father, we are White.  If we are born of a White and any other race* we are not truly White because we lack the full 46 chromosomes of our kind.

Racism

In believing in DNA and genes one must at some point realize that this can also be called racism or racialism, and in today's world these terms are used to brow beat Whites into not even thinking in terms of their genetic interests and identity.  This leaves us Whites as people without a meaningful identity to rally around.  Instead, we see other Whites as just unrelated individuals.  They are not us and we are not them.  We feel no kinship with them.  If these other Whites are attacked by non-Whites, well, that's just their bad luck and it has nothing to do with us, or so we think. Of course, this is an attitude that is harmful to all Whites.  We need to start realizing that an attack on any White by a non-white where the motivation is, in whole or in part, because the victim is White, is an attack on all Whites.  I have to note here, just as a reminder,  that I believe the major races of man are more than mere races and are actually different species, but that I often use the term race to be understood by many who may not otherwise understand.  Now, racism is actually a survival mechanism and I believe some Whites--maybe most--have a genetic mutation for racism which gives them a stronger sense of us and not us and thus helps keep them from danger and miscegenation.  As evidence of this genetic component, I point to Williams syndrome.  Those born with Williams syndrome are missing a handful of genes, and the result is that they are considered to be genetically non-racist.  They just don't seem to understand racial differences.  It should be noted that to prove the presence of a gene or genes, one only needs to prove its opposite exists so with the proof of a genetically non-racist view as found in those with Williams syndrome, it is logical to say that there is, in fact, an opposite view that is also genetically determined. Point made, I believe. And, I am quick to add that I believe I am a born White racist due to my genes, and I like it--because, as previously mentioned, this gives me a survival advantage and it simply means that I do notice racial differences.  It really doesn't have anything to do with hate of others, just means that I see them as different and not who I want to be around.

Not just DNA

However, using just the DNA/gene basis of our beings misses products of our minds such as values, ethics and a moral code. Now,  ultimately, when these are true to who we really are, these come from our DNA code, but the reality is that as we live among other people, even our own kind, these things often come from without and we often internalize them and may even think that they are from the real us.  No matter. I think it is important to accept these, if they are in tune with our DNA code, as legitimate additions to our identity, but only so long as they do not trump Whiteness.  Thus, the DNA code and our values, ethics and moral code must be combined in such a way that they  are inclusive of most of our people, or at least the ones who also feel alienated and who have open minds capable to rejecting societal conditioning that is universal rather than particular. In other words, our most essential values, ethics and morals must always and in all ways put our essential Whites first and above all else. 

I have concluded that we Whites are a separate people.  A people apart.  And, that it begins with our DNA code and our genes. I believe we are a selected people and I use that term precisely because it conveys both an evolutionary meaning as in natural selection and it also conveys more of a religious concept of being selected by something more than we are truly able to understand--the something just behind everything. Read into that what you will.

Our true White beliefs

Jews like to say that their history goes back 4,000 years and they use this reference to time to justify many things about them as a people and imply that because they claim what they think is a long history that this makes their beliefs right.  Don't buy it. I say our true White beliefs  go back millions and millions of year and started at the moment existence began.   Old books and scrolls written by humans?  Our ways started long before that.  Our beliefs are one with the ways of existence and are written throughout existence. Our beliefs began with existence itself, are one with it, and never contradict it.

It is believed that humanity began in Africa and spread over the planet.  This may be true, but even if it is not, we accept the idea that humanity began someplace and spread. Whatever the case may be, and let's just assume that humanity began in Africa-- a land with lots of sun. The result was that people developed certain features that adapted them to that environment.  The most notable feature was dark skin.  Dark skin protected them from the sun's rays.  And, of course, they also developed other features, many of which you can see just by looking at them.  And, they also developed internal features and brain features, etc.  But, as they or even earlier forms moved north, the sun became dimmer and with less sun their dark skin prevented them from making enough vitamin D to prevent the bone softening condition known as rickets.  Those with rickets often died young and didn't produce as many children.  So, natural selection kept working and some were born lighter and they did produce more vitamin D. As they mated with other lighter ones who had their gene modifications, more lighter children were born and soon all of Europe was full of white people.  Evolution continued and more and more adaptations were incorporated in those that were successful in living longer lives to produce more children.  In essence, that is a simplified explanation of how it works.  Those with a genetic advantage--a little lighter, a little faster, a little this or a little that, generally live longer and produce more children and pass on their genetic advantages.  When this is extended out hundreds of thousands or millions of years, many of these small changes accumulate and a new species id born out of the old, so long as some of those adapting are isolated.

Some of us also believe that darker skin not only blocks sun rays but also waves or rays or sub-atomic particles that help us evolve and that those of us with White skin evolve much faster as a result of our skin's ability to let these "forces" enter.  And, as evidence of this, we simply offer the observed fact that no types of humans have more variety among their group than Whites. Call this a hypothesis if you wish, but to me it is a religious belief.

My search for identity and meaning in my life has led me to this:  I am a White person.  I do not hide it. I like myself. I advocate for White interests. My values, my ethics, my morals put Whiteness above all else. What is good for me and for the White DNA code, that is what makes me happy in a reasonable way and which helps me live a long life to multiply my  personal and group DNA code and to help it evolve ever higher is good and moral and anything that does the opposite is not good and is not moral.

I am indifferent to non-Whites and practice non-interference in their lives, their ways or their fates. We Whites are, or should be, on our own to fulfill our highest possible destiny and non-Whites should also be on their own.  I believe in racial separation and even isolation to prevent gene flow from non-Whites to Whites so that we Whites can evolve as I believe we should which is along an exclusively White trajectory.  I also believe in the Golden Rule and in being honest, fair, and in not harming others unless they intend harm to me and mine.  I am against miscegenation, birth control, homosexuality, abortions, so-called family planning, suicide, putting oneself in danger or anything else that will harm Whites or keep our birth rate from being at it s absolute maximum.  I don't care if non-Whites practice any of these things.  That is their business not mine and as I just wrote, I believe in indifference and non-interference in their business.   My concerns are for Whites and the White DNA code exclusively.

HORIZONTAL GENE FLOW

It is now recognized science that we humans have obtained genes from plants.  It is also known that we shed genes wherever we go.  Crime scene specialists can get DNA samples from a criminal suspect who simply touched a wall or turned on light switch in a crime scene.  This scientific  knowledge lets us know that we Whites should try to avoid any contamination from genes of non-Whites by being as separate and isolated from them as possible.  The purity we seek is more than just the ritual and meaningless "purity" sought in many other religious traditions.  The purity we seek so we can perfect ourselves and evolve along our best trajectory is real purity--a purity of our DNA so it will lead us ever higher and closer to ultimate reality.

CONCLUSION

My search for identity and meaning has led me to this:  I am a White person.  My Whiteness is essential to my being.  The purpose of every form of life is to make more like itself.  There are eternal gene wars  that are fiercest among closely related types that occupy the same niches.  Whites mating with non-Whites is bedroom genocide for Whites.  Evolution requires that we Whites not have gene flow from non-Whites and we must be separated or isolated from non-Whites as much as possible.

* I maintain that Whites are actually already a separate species, but that we have some pollution in our DNA that allows us to bear children with other types of humans. You can call this original sin, if you like, but immersing yourself in water won't get rid of it.

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THREE BOOKS BY HARD TO PIGEONHOLE H. MILLARD

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Ourselves Alone & Homeless Jack's Religion  

Ourselves Alone & Homeless Jack's Religion
messages of ennui and meaning in post-american america by H. Millard

In Ourselves Alone and Homeless Jack's Religion, H. Millard, the hard to pigeonhole author of The Outsider and Roaming the Wastelands, has put together some of his category bending commentaries on post-American America. The commentaries deal with politics, philosophy, free speech, genocide, religion and other topics in Millard's edgy style and lead up to Homeless Jack's Religion, in which Homeless Jack lays out revelations he found in a dumpster on skid row. Browse Before You Buy ISBN: 0-595-32646-3


Roaming the Wastelands  

ROAMING THE WASTELANDS
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H. Millard’s latest sacred cow toppling book, is now
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The Outsider  

THE OUTSIDER - (ISBN: 0-595-19424-9)
H. Millard’s underground classic story of alienation is
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