T-SHIRTS, NOT BLANKETS by H. Millard (c) 2002


Some redskins on an intramural basketball team up at the University of Northern Colorado got their feathers all in a bunch recently and decided to show white folks--and especially those at nearby Eaton High School, whose motto is "Fightin' Reds," and whose logo is a caricature of an Indian--Little black Sambohow insulting it is to have their identity pre-empted this way. "Damn, didn't the Sambo's Restaurant chain get into heap big trouble with blackskins and have to change their name because black folks found it offensive to be portrayed as anything less than nuclear physicists? If the blackskins can back whiteskins down so easily, then certainly red skins can do the same thing."

To show the evil pale faces what it feels like to be made fun of, the Injuns named their basketball team the "Fighting Whites" but they don't appear too concerned with consistency--that's sort of an anal retentive white trait, apparently--because the team is sometimes called the "Fightin' Whites or the Fightin' Whities." The team also adopted what looks like a clip art Father Knows Best looking caricature of a white guy with a rocker slogan reading "Every thang's going to be all white." "Yeah. Take that, white people! We sure showed you."

Unfortunately for the Injuns, the thing backfired on them and most white folks aren't offended, by the racial stereotype of them. In fact, it appears that many whites think this whole thing is so funny (Or, is there something else to this? More on this speculation below.) that they've been deluging the team with requests for interviews and offering to send big piles of wampum, and maybe some fire water to Solomon Little Owlbuy Fightin Whities T-shirts. This has caught the Injuns by surprise. It was like a massacre. They've seen white skins come for Indian blankets before, but not for T-shirts. So, the Injuns are scrambling to try to get copyright protection for their Fightin' Whities name and logo. They know that if whitey smells a profit or really wants something , he will, well, fight to get it, like um, all the land that whitey fought to get that now comprises the United States, but which the redskins wrongly figured they owned because they were here when the real Fightin' Whities came over from Europe. That, of course, was long before whites castrated themselves with guilt, introspection, and self-doubt, and let the weak genetic misfits among them run things. So, it's now the white aracial cat ladies sans cats and cat girlie men also sans cats--who want to mother everyone who isn't white-- telling their fellow whites that they're worthless and evil if they want to be white, who seem to represent the present collective soul of white folks. Or, do they? Could there be something stirring in the collective unconscious of whites? More in a moment.

At least on the surface today, it's the Indians and other people of color who are working on developing their group esteem and who have pride in their racial identity, while most whites seem to be trying to be aracial drones. Many Indians no longer want to pass as white, and many who have seen their Indian blood diluted via miscegnation now search to find that distant drop of Indian blood in their family trees so they can claim that they're Indians. Meanwhile, in a role reversal, many whites--at least on the surface--have become like the dispirited Indians of an earlier day, and don't want to be white. Or, do they?

Will the Indians retain the rights to their cash buffalo of Fightin' Whities T-shirts or will the white eyes be able to sneak in under the teepee and buy T-shirts made and printed in China faster than the Indians can buy them from that country? We'll have to wait and see. But, if the Indians lose the market on this Fightin'Whities stuff it's their own fault just as it was their fault that they lost the country.

Of course, the reason the Indians lost the country is because instead of spending more time under the bear skins getting their women pregnant and having papooses, they were busy bringing bows and arrows to gun fights with the real Fightin' Whities back when whites were bold and unapologetic for being white. Well, don't worry Injuns you may have underbred yourselves almost out of existence, but the white folks are now following in your moccasin steps. Oh, sure, we've got white guys like Pat Buchanan who is telling white folks that they're dying off because they don't have enough children, but Buchanan doesn't have any children himself. And then there's Rush Limbaugh who spoke about Chief Rushthe Fightin' Whities T-shirts on his radio program and who seems to be representative of a certain type of self-indulgent comfort loving white person who apparently finds it inconvenient to have children. Take heart you people of various hues--whether you are red, brown, black or yellow--whites have a low birth rate. Think, Last of the Mohicans, but in white face.

Still, and this is what I alluded to above, this demand by whites for the Fightin' Whities T-shirts may actually have more to it than first meets the eye. Could it be that whites are starting to emerge from years of self-doubt and are now actually subconsciously looking for things about their people that make them feel proud? Could it be that whites like the image of "Fightin' Whities," and because it is presented by non-whites, whites can speak with forked tongues and secretly revel in the imagery without having those guilt feelings that they're being racist to wear and display such symbols of white pride? If the KKK produced such T-shirts, would the whites who are now clamoring for them, still Klan T-shirtdo so? Probably not. Because if the KKK did it, there would be no ready psychological defense against the self-guilt of "white racism." Now, with the Indians producing them, whites can wear them and say "Hey, this is the name of an Indian basketball team. What a yuk," and no one will think that such whites actually like being white (which, as you know, is considered by the aracial drones as being much, much worse than being a serial killer).

Could it be that whites will develop white pride because of a bunch of Indian basketball players? Stranger things have happened. Sometimes a higher level of consciousness comes from something like a Zen slap. Other times it starts as a joke. Thanks Injuns, your Fightin' Whities parody may have helped raise the consciousness of many whites to the fact that they are a part of a distinct people. Still, there may be other explanations for the way whites are the way they are.

For example, some whites are so alienated from their essential whiteness that they see themselves as unconnected individuals who are not really a part of a larger racial group. Not seeing themselves as part of the white race they don't see insults to whites as an insult to them personally. Also, other Bad monkeywhites may be subconscious noblesse oblige racists who simply ignore insults from "inferior" peoples the way they ignore feces thrown at them by monkeys at a zoo. After all, in this type of thinking, these lower animals aren't expected to act civilized, and one must not hold them to the same high standards that these subconscious noblesse obligee whites hold other whites to.

Speaking of basketball. The Boston Celtics basketball team has few people from Boston on the team and almost no Celts or any other white people. To show the blacks on the Celtics team that whites don't appreciate having their identity disrespected, perhaps we should do as the Indians have done "americana"with their Fightin' Whities idea and start an all white basketball team from, say, Alabama, and call it the Watts Watusis, or the Dancin' Darkies. We'll accompany the name with a 1920's era caricature of a black eating a watermelon with the slogan "Sure am good!" Of course if we do that, then we should probably change the name

Norm PetersonFightin' Whities to something more relevant to the way far too many white people are today: the Whining Whities

If you want to contact the Fighting Whites--who are mostly not white--you can contact them through their new website.

This is the official homepage of the Fighting Whites from Northern Colorado University

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